Ode to my beloved sister

thCAP4HOOQ 

Everything is everything

but everything is fine
depressing hard lessons
my confectionist pretext…

Her divine love is above a heavy head
learn again to think with my heart
peep rear views & UN blindfold memories
blood drivin’ in mud leaves it’s leathery mark

Sensory sunshine
my flex capacitor just got blown apart
sometimes I start cryin’…

Bent from the depth
of last breath & caressing
death just a theft
inside laws of possession…
b
ut I have her
and she’s mine

Sc-Fi caffeine steam
like tea that’s been steeped
deep loves heat
defeats Delorian machines

Libyan bugs climb behind
pines to complete a 187
bazookas blaze Hill valley cemetery signs

 1955 +51 years…
But a dream
can turn out just fine…

my hands in with Lauren
for its my GOD that through death
my baby girl unfurled
that sweet thang still alive…

But…
I miss how she pissed Brian off
when we still had her in this world…

Random time machines
I couldn’t count its cost
one plus point twenty
a single jigga
all its divided… 

No sum described  figures
Watt was never lost…

I smile crying cause
I can’t even deny
you bring back
“Damn that girl ate up all the grape jelly”
your voice’s reverberations
of Welches gr
ape scraped on the jar
mixed with
“This is for Da’ Bourbons and the Cadillac’s”

Any sign of Seville…
cryogenic chilled flex capacitors
wont bring it back
her smile
Master P or Brian’s Jam…

I’m feeling fine because
the sum of my love…
it’s right here
its right where I am…

But I miss her
and sometimes can’t hold drops back
until I picture my best buddy
my baby sister pb& j
Suburban’s & candy painted Cadillac’s.

It ain’t nothing bout some skin
it’s just a literal kinda
kiss from within…

But,
I miss how smart You are…

I hold you in every way I can
but these tears you see on me
they’re of joy my sister
its love Undestroyed…

I can’t get her back y’all
No increment of mother earth
not
all of her kisses
how we lost her…

Could ever convey the current
in a sea of grape jelly
not her worth
no currency equates
the grief of what it cost her…

her dreams were wishes
a
life’s sweet memories offer kisses
and as I tap these keys
I’m pleased to know
that I never even lost her
I still have my little princess
yet miss her more
than eyes can show©

A baby in her blue jeans and a lady in her shoes

Tightrope still 2

She walked the roads like dancers
on the ropes of Mr. Kite
but I can’t hope to see her dancin’ anymore
the sun reveals the living things
not all the reasons why
she didn’t want to keep on dancin’ anymore

I listen to the radio
playing Elton John for me
with his voice I see her
dancing in the sand
she’s talking in her sleep
but every secret that she keeps
won’t put her back inside
the promise of my hand

But I can’t see her anymore
not out there dancing in the street
I see her heart and light inside
the eyes of lonely girls I meet

the voice that’s on the radio
sings a song that helps the bruise
of a baby in her blue jeans
and a lady in her shoes

Cause I can’t hear her anymore
she doesn’t call from down the street
and I’ll never see her dancing on
that rope below her feet
without a chance to feel the sun
she never has to lose
she’s a baby in her blue jeans
and a lady in her shoes ©

Epitaphs in motion

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There’s nowhere I can run to
and no love outside my door
she vanished like the genie
left these bottles on my floor
a light was shining through her eyes
reflected onto me
but last time I called to my love
no one remembered me
and my heart is filled with cigarettes
her departure birth of sin
cause the day she left my eyes
I watched her fade just like my grin
and nobody understands me
many nights and many songs
in a moments kiss
what felt dismissed
a place where I belong
I’m her epitaph in motion
six feet tall above this ground
I’ll keep driving looking for
the place where I can turn around ©

A lonesome cowboy down the hall

A horizontal skeleton pondering my strength to run
from those I want
through chosen fronts
I mean to convey
like time snapped it’s fingers
in all of my heart only remnants remain
politeness & pride made different devices
I paid price to keep those I need from deep crisis
In my saddened face
or in a broken heart
alien Nate afar from but bro
just couldn’t relate… devastated
and in it I hated
TO BE A BURDEN OR VICTIM
but sadness in rain dropped sorrow
self told horoscopes in reverse way
its baring down on me in yesterdays tomorrows
I look at gray flecks of hair in a mirror
asking where are my friends?
I cant try to pretend
prophesier of tomorrow
cynical sorrow
whom amiss beginnings writes of ends
I miss my friends
I can’t remember why expendability from former love for me
I became that kind of guy
Unimportant to the importance in my life
Its brought about doubt in my ways
I’m not depressed realizing stress
that I’ve ran from those that I love from afar
without even telling them
I’ve been dying inside
I can’t seem to act out the beginning
of the end of the running and hide
I’m just looking back
When did my shell…harden?
My love is starving and to anyone that see’s this
I’m just sorry and I don’t know how to make it better
I’m not out of my optimistic
just in fractions and prisms
that light can imprison
refract not a memory
a dated decision
a single vision to close my love
To act or subtract all that I lack
engulfed in the flames of my sister burning down
I just can’t find pure peace
alone with grandpa watched final breath
held Lilly an hour no life
not air in her chest in my arms
pal bearer had to almost fall head first
been worse if I dropped her six feet of dirt
they don’t use the thing that lowers caskets
on the angel HE gave me
same dirt on my shirt that covered our baby
see me smile still it hurts
I don’t want pity but what could I do
move away and pretend that I’m happy to throw you away?
I admit, this shit got the best of me
I’m not strong I just cannot find a semblance
or even remembrance of where in the fuck I belong
I’m sorry
all I want is love
I think maybe I’ve become unable to give
what’s been taken
but I used to see eyes
love in those not mistaken ©