Why me God?

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As I closed the door to my hotel room tonight,  I couldn’t help asking the question “why me God?” I was shaking off the bitter cold night from my leather jacket and crawling into a warm bed. I’ve done nothing in my life that justifies my being warm while so many live homeless outside in the cold. Some of them innocent children, without a choice in the matter. What have I done for any one of them? I wear a cross around my neck. My conscience shines a light that brings tears to my eyes tonight. Yet, I know my tears won’t do a damn thing to help. I feel like the many hypocrites out there, calling themselves Christians. The ones who think prayers alone will call Jesus down to perform his work & give warmth to those shivering in the cold. It makes me feel shame because this cross I wear, it’s only a name tag indicating that I do work here. Gods work isn’t done by hands that fold together in prayer alone. Hands must be used to reach out & do the work that needs to be done. Someone’s prayers went unanswered tonight because I didn’t use my hands to carry donations of blankets or clothes to a place where they could find them. No wonder so many lose faith in God. I’d like to find redemption by never forgetting the shame I feel inside my heart tonight.

                                                                                                                            1Love!

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carmen Deo meo

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In spite the way I’m livin’
I’m still givin’ what I can
give me strength in my tomorrow
with the mercy of your hand
if I have to beg and borrow
Lord protect me through my day
in your light I’ll see no sorrow
in your love I’ll find my way

please forgive me when I’m lonely
and the only thought’s I have
seem to be of what I need
while others bleed and suffer bad
let my heart be just as giving
to the one who walks alone
let the light you give my heart be
someone’s friend and walk them home

when I’m looking for an answer
in a bottle let me pray
let me be the love I ask for
help me do your work today
in your mercy please forgive me
for my weakness give me strength
in your light I’ll be tomorrow
with your love I’ll find my way ©

the windows of love

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Love is a window that is one often opened with white satin gloves. It is beautiful and delicate, made of glass that we see right through…Its something that we fear breaking.  But, love is also a difficult window to open at times. From the hard rains in the summer, to the cold nights in between… we cannot see through the dirt and grime. This vantage point, this view that we treat so guarded… it gets covered with so many different things that we may not see through to the other side. We somehow wish to protect our satin gloves from being ruined opening this dirty window. Isn’t it funny that in times like these we forget what’s important? How do I suppose the relief of fresh air will gain entry? During moments that make me feel so alone and without air to breathe? Love is not to be handled with white gloves alone. Gloves that protect our vanity. We so often concern our hearts with the appearance of love… we become people that have no versatility … love is within the labor of always being sure our window remains open. True love is dirty and bloody… Love may be presented to us with bows and ribbons, it may be so very worthy of the essence of honor and decorum… but in the boots I have walked or the roads that I’ve traveled … love takes work gloves and mud… love is pain. Love means ruining those white gloves. Every bit of sediment on its tracks…  each time we fall face first in the mud… so long as I can see you through my window pane… I can tell you that I love you.  ©

It is what LOVE does

 

It is what LOVE does, that in each day upon a sunset…

Did I guide one lost, those burdened?? In my bed? Its answers come to me & I feel it…if someone is hurting… did I forget? Cause its dark outside, did I give light where its needed….hear a grown baby crying… did I show love to feed it? Is light what is given, when its me that don’t see it. Delete someones evil, protecting a child …use the sunshine to beat it, with the light of my smile.  You know our walk in this path can be troubled. Its such struggle to learn within sadness. To study acts of JOHN, do I know what it teaches, do we remember these lessons… while nobody preaches? Everything is, as it was or ever shall be. Wouldn’t it be like JESUS chose them, How about you or me? We look for “they” within today.

Its been joy like sunlight in times that design minds to destroy us. In GOD I trust but thrust into a world called dark… flammable gas from trash that spits tomorrows out like little kids in poverty… it implodes within wisdom ,  ignoble explode in sorrows t.n.t… But, in regards to my life or to my wealth, what I have or what I thought it to be…

I’ve got a joy because my brother walks with me.

I haven’t lost him in a war that cost him not being here. I’ve hurt and helped he is myself because what was to be…The yesterdays presuppositions of tomorrow….I hold less sorrow, I still can see because I’ve got my brother watching out for me. No accident, not paying rent can end the bonds that keep joy from truly absconding me. To a brother that counts tomorrows time like 2013 dimes before they drop, It has to stop .

I cannot explain the worth and gold that can’t unfold because my punk ass brother. Knowing what is to me like undoing destiny… erasing anything good You judge me to be…

It wouldn’t ever of been shit, without a good brother to walk next to me. ©